So this last week I caught a nice little head cold from our 18-month-old bundle of joy. It sucked. I kept telling the hubs all he had to do was to chop my head off and I'd feel 100% better...to which he made sure and remind me if that happened I'd be dead. Kudos to the hubs for pointing this out :-)
It came on slowly and when combined with me not sleeping through the night in my own bed, Wednesday just knocked me on my butt. I will say, the reason I wasn't in my bed the whole night is because we have 3 kiddos that at some point during the night either woke up because she dropped her wubba behind her crib or coughed and woke up and just wanted to sleep in mom and dad's bedroom. Normally, I'm not one to let the little's sleep in our bed, but when they're sick, I'll do just about anything to help them feel better. Even if that means getting kicked out of my bed.
So we wake up on Wednesday and my sinuses are plugged beyond belief and the twins are HANGRY before school. The hubs must have took notice of my not feel well when I told the girls "fine, no school today, I don't care" and wasn't my normal, pleasant self. It wasn't long after this, he told me he was going to come home at lunch and watch the girls so I could get some sleep. The sleep / rest was MUCH needed and I'm hopeful it did the trick because I'm doing much better now.
Here's what was hard for me. Actually admitting I needed help - I needed him to take time off of work to help watch our children so I could sleep. He knew I would never ever ask in a million years for him to do that. To me, asking him to do that, meant that I failed and was a wuss because it was just a little stuffiness. Truthfully, I needed it and he didn't so much ask if I needed the help, he told me it was going to happen.
I don't know if it's because I stay home, and I can't imagine the stress the hubs feels as the sole income earner for our family, or because I wanted him to see / know that I had it all together (even though I didn't) that those thoughts of being a failure crept in. Seriously. Why is it, when we ask for help when we need it, does it make some of us feel like it's a weakness?
Shouldn't we acknowledge the fact that just realizing we can't do everything and need a little bit of help is really amazing. And going a step further and asking for it, without feeling bad, is a huge strength. One I'm working on. In a society so focused on image, one where we don't post many, if any, non-positive status updates on Facebook (because Heaven forbid we really share what's going on...the good, the bad, and the ugly), we become scared to really be real. Don't get me wrong. I don't know that I'd spend the time scrolling through Facebook if it was one sad / angry / upset post after another, but it's just become a place to either share just the positive side of your life or what direct sales business you're in. I'm not saying this is wrong, I'm just trying to say, in addition to sharing new photos of the kiddos, letting others know you got a promotion, we should also be able to ask for prayers or able to say that today, being a stay at home mom flat out stinks because your child(ren) didn't sleep and are having one of those moments they want nothing to do with you.
This isn't just a social media posting problem either - I think it's enhanced the feelings we should have it all together, but everyone should have someone they can go to for help. Whether it's a spouse, best friend (near or far), neighbor, MOPS group, colleagues, etc. And it's good to have a handful of people you can ask for help from. Sometimes it's your spouse that you are needing help with and a coffee date with your BFF is just what you need.
If you're reading this and it's resonating with you - know I'm saying a prayer for you today. I'm not good about letting my guard down and asking for help, but I'm getting better. I know you will get better too. There's no shame in asking for help. It doesn't mean you are a failure or weak. It means you recognize that to be the best you possible, you need a little help from your friends!