Everyone has that rock bottom where you finally decide, "ok...I seriously need to make a change..." and mean it. I don't know how many times I've said I want to lose weight or eat better, but never did because I hadn't hit that point yet. Sure I had excuses. I didn't have time to exercise, I was tired in the mornings, gyms were too expensive, I only wanted to take classes and not do free weights, I'd start tomorrow, blah blah blah.
I know when I hit my rock bottom. It was February 2016. We were six months into having our youngest and I STILL couldn't wear my wedding ring. When you're preggo, you obviously gain weight and bloat - one of those places being your hands and ankles (at least for me). I would wear my ring on a necklace if we were going out while I was pregnant and couldn't get it on my finger. While I understand this is part of the pregnancy, I was so upset at myself for not being able to shed the weight and wear my ring. As a woman, you want to wear your wedding ring and not being able to was a constant reminder to me that I was "fat" or at least that's what my mind was telling me.
In addition to me being upset at myself, I was incredibly embarrassed and, probably a dozen or more times, had played out a conversation in my head between the hubby and I where I would be asking him if we could afford to resize my ring so I could wear them. I never actually told him how I was feeling or what I was struggling with. I didn't want to have to admit to him how much I had let myself go...because to me, he saw it every day when we'd be getting ready and I'd always run away to change. Heaven forbid he saw what I saw.
This was the one of the lowest of the low points for me. I wasn't happy with myself physically, mentally, emotionally, any -ally you can think of. I wasn't being the best wife, mother, or friend I could be, but my self-esteem was so low, I couldn't even see that. I had thought this was it. This was how life was going to be. I just had to deal with it.
I don't know what it was that made me flip to a PiYo infomercial and watch it that afternoon. I'm pretty sure I laughed when people were sharing their story about how this program changed their life, but mostly I was jealous because I didn't think I'd ever be able to change mine. On a whim, I ordered the workouts to do at home in more of an effort to prove it wrong. To prove that it wouldn't work for me. To prove that no matter what I did, I just had to get used to how I was feeling.
I started getting up early in the morning to get a workout in before the girls woke up. I really liked Chalene from the get go, but something about the program made me keep getting out of bed in the morning. I slowly saw maybe 2-3 lbs fall off that first month. This is when I told Josh how I had been feeling and that I was frustrated again because I was making better choices, but still felt no progress was being made. This is when he bestowed some wisdom that I'm so glad he did. He told me, his greatest breakthroughs come right around that 5-6 week mark (which I was at). He urged me to just keep with it, give it the full 8 weeks and then make a decision on if it worked or not.
Holy cow...I'm so glad he told me that and that I did give PiYo the full 8 weeks at home. Before I knew it, I had shed almost 10 lbs by the end of April. My goal for 2016 was to lose 12 lbs as I figured 1 lb a month wasn't a huge deal to try and lose. I couldn't believe it.
After the first 8 weeks, I decided to give the second 8 week round a go. I really, really loved the program, Chalene, and this time I added in a daily protein shake. I will say, I didn't consistently do the daily workouts and let life get in the way. I think I probably still have like 10 days left to finish...BUT...I can honestly say, this program changed my life!
This year alone I'm down 20+lbs, countless inches, and what is the best of all is that I'm happy with where I'm at. I'm no longer beating myself up if I have a bad day of snacking at home or a super unhealthy stuffed pizza for dinner. I know the next day I'll get back on track. I'm not a slave to the scale. Yes, I'll still weigh myself in the morning, but I go by how my clothes are feeling on me more than the number. Speaking of clothes. My clothes fit me so much better. I just like how I'm feeling as a whole - which I couldn't say when I started on this journey 10 months ago. Pretty sure my face says it all in the picture above :-)
I do have to say, I think the reason I found this success this year, was because I found what works for me. I found a trainer and program that encouraged me the way I needed. I didn't follow a strict diet, but I swapped out my lunch meal for a protein shake and tried to feed our family better at dinner time.
I also know that because this worked for me, doesn't mean it will work for everyone. I know there are people who need to hit the gym up every day. I know there are people who need to have their meals portioned / prepped for them. I know there are people who will do a combination of all these things. And I know there are people who haven't hit that rock bottom yet and will continue to wonder why nothing is working.
If any of this resonates with you, and you're feeling like getting healthier is a lost cause, please please please don't give up on yourself! You are worth it! I know how it's easy to slip into the mindset of "nothing is going to work...I'm too far gone for anything to help...there's now way it would work for me so why even try." I'm here to let you know that YOU ARE WORTH IT and if anyone, even your own mind, tries to tell you differently - prove them wrong! Find what works for you and don't ever quit!